Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
