5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Who died my cat blue again?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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