someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
