By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
