3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
