I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
