I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
