Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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