Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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