his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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