I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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