I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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