Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
