is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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