This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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