Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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