Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
