Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
