Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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