She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
