just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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