never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
