wakey wakey hands off snakey
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
