guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize