I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
as a side note pls kill me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
