I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize