Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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