and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
