dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize