i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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