Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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