Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
