Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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