we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
