After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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