It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
