I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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