you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
