i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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