billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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