he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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