What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
