If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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