i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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