If i come over, it means nothing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
