i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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