After last night, I could never be a politician.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
