What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize