So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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