Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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