Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize