Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
