his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
