i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
