Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
