I'm really into asian looking animals
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
