I'm really into asian looking animals
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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