I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
