I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
