two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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