Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
