Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
