I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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